The phrase you probably often come through on the internet is that to love someone fully, you need to love yourself first. Wouldn’t fully agree about that, however self-love is one of the most important things in life, because in the end you’re the only person to spend this lifetime with, and to hate yourself throughout all these years would be a shame (and actually waste of time). As much as self-love is hella important, it’s not just a piece of cake. But since it’s February, ‘the month of love‘ it only felt right to start it off with having a chat about loving yourself, also since you made it this far and decided to read this post, I believe that you’re ready to work on that, so shall we?
To get stuck in a negative mindset when you tend to bully yourself can literally happen in a matter of minutes/hours, our brains tend to stick more to negative thoughts rather than the positive ones. It’s not easy at first to say stop to negative thoughts, yet it’s not impossible. All it takes is saying no whenever a bad thought comes your way, you can say it to yourself in your head, tell yourself that you do not care about that thing (depending on what it is) or you don’t want to focus on the stuff like this. As Justin Timberlake sang – what comes around goes around and actually karma is a b*tch so you better start focusing on them good vibes love.
Personally I used to do that ALL THE TIME. It’s so easy to get caught up in the fake standards of beauty you see these days over on instagram, youtube and etc. Even though we all know that some things were probably photoshopped, sometimes all it takes is a proper angle to make our faces/bodies look different, don’t even wanna go on about the popular ‘instagram makeup’; even though we all know about these things they can beat us up. When it comes to physical features – you cannot change them, well actually can a bit due to working out/eating better/ plastic surgeries, but you know what I mean? We’re all different, we’re all unique and there’s a TON of beauty in it. Besides the appearance, it’s also so easy to compare (and complain whilst doing that) about career successes and stuff and there’s this quote I love when it comes to that – don’t compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter 40 + trust the timing, everything happens for a reason.
There has to be something (and even more than that) that you at least like yourself for, I know it. So sit down and think of 5 features that you like in your body first, write them down and whilst looking in the mirror always focus on them. It might be your hair colour, you legs, eyes, lips, boobies, hands, just a n y t h i n g! Whilst putting an outfit, doing your makeup or so – make sure to make them pop, that will definitely make you feel so much more confident and simply feel good. The other 5 should be your traits, if you consider yourself as a funny person (for example I do, but feel like none ever laughs at my jokes, the only person who does that is me and maybe two of my fiends), but I do find myself funny still. And again – write them down. Focus on them. And day by day, month by month make this list longer and longer.
It might seem to be kind of a weird advice/step, but honestly having a journal is such a life-changer on so many pathways, yet here I wanna share a certain way of keeping/creating it. Every day make sure to write down at least five things you’re thankful for that happened on that day, find happiness in the simplest moments and appreciate them. Once you start focusing on whats good in life, them negative thoughts will slowly fade away. Same thing will happen with self-doubt, self-hate and just not being happy about who you are and the way you look like. Obviously I advice to write anything you want to in there, if theres something on your chest and you have none to talk to – write it down, let it out. If you completed something exciting on a certain day – write it down, remember that moment and go back to it whenever you start feeling shitty. If you want to start working out, going on a diet or anything – add habit trackers as people do (including myself) in their bullet journals. Having a thing like this and being consistent with it will help you keep track on things and become a better version of yourself.
It’s like with diet or working out, you won’t see or feel a change right after one meal or cardio. Everything comes with time as you work on it. So start and keep on working, learn to love yourself. Take time to make your soul happy. Unconditional self-love can change your life and this is the beginning of anything you want.
O U T F I T : scarf: h&m | baker boy hat: vintage | faux fur: reserved | coat: levi’s | trousers: reserved | shoes: reserved | bag: topshop
PHOTOGRAPHY & EDITING: IZA URBANIAK